Rain rules

No, not "Rain Rules!" or anything. I meant rain rules. I've gotten to witness some pretty intense events that remind me of the things that I shouldn't do when its raining. By following these simple guidelines, you won't embarrass yourself.. OK, without further to do.. here they are:

1) While witnessing the occasional slip and fall, do not laugh (out loud). Its just mean, and you probably won't want to anyway. What never fails is how there is always someone that asks "Are you OK?" but show absolutely no sign of wanting to help, I guess its just one of those reflexes.

2) If its windy and your umbrella flips, try not to walk like it happens to you all the time and you don't care about it.. Walking around with a flipped umbrella is a little sad to look at. If you find yourself struggling trying to fix it and everyone is watching you just go with the last resort: face the umbrella downwards and push it against the ground to flip it back. It works.

3) There is always someone that keeps holding the umbrella open even after the rain stopped. To let them know that its no longer raining, just look up at the sky then look at your closed umbrella in your hand.. oh and then look back at the sky. They will know its safe to come out.

4) Dudes! If you're indoors and your jacket is drenched.. why do you still wear it? You'll just be all drippy and cold.

5) Sidewalk safety: Do NOT walk next to a street puddle. I've been splashed before, and I didn't get embarrassed until the girl slowed down and stopped to ask me "Are you OK?"

Follow this one for sure, even if you completely ignore the previous items:

6) Its during these times when we notice that painted surfaces are just as slippery as walking on metal surfaces. If you're more of the 'learn by doing' person, then learn it for yourself. Oh and please share your experience. Please.

Have you seen any of these things happen lately? Share! If it happened to you, just start off by saying "Oh yeah, this happened to my friend: . . ." and then share your experience.

Size matters

Accepted awkward moments are those that happen often, and are considered normal to some extent. A couple of these are observed in almost every situation we are in.. whether we are in a class room, or eating with some friends.

Let's consider the example of the pizza box. When we first open a pizza box, what do you first? Well yeah, you look at it; but if multiple people look at it at the same, the size of the slices is really what is being looked at. Keeping this in mind, consider this: when you order a pizza at a sit down restaurant, there are several of these accepted awkward moments.

1) Who is going to grab the first slice? -Awkward mostly only if there was an exchange of eye contact beforehand

2) How big is the slice the first person got? -You would notice if the person got the biggest slice on the pie. It is especially awkward if the person reached across the pizza in order to get the biggest slice. Keep it safe and get the one closest to you.

3) Reaching for a second slice? -If there are 5 friends and 8 slices, those who are very hungry and (happen to eat slowly) will be looking at you if you are going for another slice. If you're the reacher, avoid eye contact. If you're the hungry dude, look at his plate; if he still has the crust left, he is officially a jerk.

Of course, there are more moments like those with just that example (e.g. what happens to the pepperoni that fell off and is on the tray?), but at least you get the idea.

Other things? Yes there are other accepted awkward moments.

The List:

1) When looking for a parking spot, and it looks like you found one but its actually a small car parked there. What sucks is that you slowed down for it, and the driver behind you noticed.

2) You raise your hand in a classroom just when the professor turned away and begins to lecture again. Keep it raised.. or wait for him to turn around again? Hmm..

3) When you are on a walkway and realize that you forgot something and must turn around. I don't really have a technique for making it seem normal, sorry.

4) Arriving at a shop or restaurant that is closed. They wait for you to park, and walk to their front door and then tell you that they are closed through hand signals. If there are other victims arriving as well, you try to be nice and tell them that it's closed; but they just have to figure it out themselves by pulling on the locked door. "Why!? I told you.." Eh, we all do it anyway.

There's a ton of these! I tend to notice these only on certain days, and I think I figured out the pattern; its when I'm tired that I am the most observant, I'm just not sure of the reason why.

Hmm.. Oh well.

--- From: One moose, two meese---

Tim: "damn dude. i'll admit i'm drunk right now but you got some insightful s**t mang. -tim."

-Thanks man, its cool that drunk people find it interesting. Drinking and reading, it's not illegal yet.

One moose, two meese

The English language was created by humans. In a way it shows our creativity; but there are some pretty strange creative words that I stumbled upon once upon a time.

In my confusion I asked a ton of questions, starting off by trying to figure out why your house can burn up as it burns down, or how your alarm goes off by actually turning on. How do we fill out a form? By filling it in!

Have you ever wondered why quicksand is slow, why there's no egg in eggplant, and pine nor apples in pineapples? Did you know that ham isn't in hamburgers (its actually not even pork), and that boxing rings aren't rings.. but squares? If a guinea pig (which isn't a pig) isn't from Guinea.. where's it from?

Oh man...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

The List:

1) Farms produce produce

2) There was a sticker of a bass on the bass guitar

3) She shed a tear when she noticed the tear

4) Polish the Polish furniture

5) When the buck sees the does, he does strange things

Its a good thing that Buick doesn't rhyme with quick, because it just sounds funny. But common sense fails us when we are taught (teachers taught.. preachers praught?) that the plural of tooth isn't tooths, but teeth instead, and then we have to say the plural of booth.

Good job on learning English. Can you think of any weird "creative" things out there?