"O.K. you hang up.. No, you hang up.."

"...O.K. fine, I'll hang up... wait.. did you hang up?" someone please hang up already!

It's exciting when things first start out in a relationship; you stay up late talking on the phone, go out all the time, and always have someone to text while you're waiting in line at the DMV.

But what does all of this stuff also mean?

1) High risk for weight gain, and no, not healthy muscle-weight --fat weight. After all that going out, eating at restaurants and making unhealthy choices for desserts its hard not to gain fatty weight! Besides, the actual working out is supposed to happen after a break up, remember?

2) The smallest things can make you make extremely irrational decisions. So he knocks out early, and falls asleep.. poor guy doesn't realize that a ton of messages (that the girl probably already regrets) await when he wakes up for not calling her to say goodnight. Or how about when she suddenly decides to have a bunch of "ladies' nights" with her best friend that is usually up to no good? He'll feel uneasy, bring it up, argue.. and, well it leads to the next item:

3) "You know what, don't even think about talking to me anymore!"

"Fine! I don't think I can do this anymore"

"Whatever, I'm out."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

And then, 10 minutes later:

"Baby... I'm sorry"

It's all good entertainment if you ever get the chance to listen/watch.

4) I don't know if its wrong to think the following: Have you ever wondered how much money you would have if you were to get reimbursed for every single purchase you made for your boyfriend/girlfriend while you were together (assuming you saved the receipts, of course)? Then, when talking about the breakup, instead of have someone ask you "How long were you together?" they'd ask "How much did you spend on him?" and that would determine how serious the relationship was... O.K., yeah.. that'd be taking it too far.

Who understands this stuff, seriously?

There's the girl thats unhappy because she doesn't have a boyfriend, and ALSO unhappy when she does. There's the guy that's happy when he's single, and unhappy when he's not. Some people are just running around like crazy because they still haven't figured out what they want.

Sigh..

Oh! I almost forgot:

Any resemblance to any real person out there is pure coincidence.

P.S. Thanks Natalie for bringing up item #4!